Monday, February 28, 2005

Hooray! I did it! I did it!

They gave another Academy Awards - the 77th in fact,
and I didn't go. I didn't finagle tickets, I didn't crash,
I didn't sneak in past the toughest security in years.

What I did instead was polish my shooting script for a feature
I'm Directing later this year.
I did my own work, without peering
at the other monkeys, as they give each other awards.
Hooray! Congratulate me - I'm getting better!
Or am I? Read all about it here.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Andy Hardy's Blog: Trampled by Oscar

Yee-haw! Here's a guy who digresses as he sees fit.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

Oscars - Will win, Should win,
Should have been nominated...

So tomorrow night, I'm not at the prom, invited or not.
I work on, on work that will get me there, so duty calls.
Here's a guy from Singapore, who's got the right take on it.
Will win, should win, should have been nominated...
And they're off!

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Look at this commercial - it's amazing.

I must have watched this fifty times.
It's just marvelous, and it keeps getting better.
I don't know what they're selling - I don't care.
Great filmmaking - all those little people
look like ants, and the scale is great.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

The Annual Academy Award Predictions

I'm polishing a script I'm to Direct later this year, revising
my Raising Money book and Editing the feature I shot last
summer. Deadlines on all staring me in the face, it's beginning
to look as if I shan't get to the Oscars this year, and it's a
dirty shame, there are so many good pictures.
This guy is just about spot-on,
in my estimation.
Read it and weep.

Monday, February 21, 2005

There Was A Man Dept.

RIP Hunter S. Thompson
"You're A Whole Different
Person When You're Scared."


Sunday, February 20, 2005

Will Theatrical Audiences Continue
To Buy Documentary Films?

Giving Ken Burns the Third Degree.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Thoughts On Indy Producing and Partnership

If you wrote the checks that made the Indy movie,
you're the Executive Producer.

Co-Producer is when two persons split the
Producer credit. I think it's a wanky title.
There's no reason they both can't be Producer.

Associate Producer is essentially valueless, somebody
who optioned a book and flipped it to a production company.
He gets nothing, just some credit for bringing in the property.

Milton Berle said an Associate Producer is
"Anyone who will associate with the Producer."

David Mamet said an Associate Producer credit is
"Something you give your Secretary, instead of a raise."

People ask why my cat got a part in my movie. I say,
"Because she sleeps with the Producer."

If your filmmaking partner wants the title of Producer,
for work he did, give it to him. Credits are only
letters on the screen. Especially in a no-budget movie.
You can't afford letters?

In a partnership, if one partner brings money, the other
can also bring money, or just know-how, or nothing at all,
and it's still a partnership. Anything they agree on.

When they divide money, one can get all the money and the
other can get no money, or they can split 50/50 or 80/20 or
any split at all. Whatever they agree on.

Just DON'T promise a percentage and then not deliver.
And DON'T avoid discussing it until the movie is over,
thinking if you don't talk about it, you get all the marbles.

If your partner worked on the movie, you owe him.
Cash is only one way people are paid.

If he works on it, he has "sweat equity" in the project,
and a Judge may agree with him.

Write down what you and your Partner agree,
in a simple plain-English contract, and you both
sign it. It can be on a file card, I'm not kidding.

"The faintest line is better than the fondest memory."

Make sure you both have a copy.

Then, when the shouting starts, you pull out the contract
and read it, so you know what you agreed on.
(A contract is to solve arguments, not to cheat each other.)

Make sure your contract is checked out by your Attorney,
so it is legal in your area.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Just Saw A Great Trailer

Just saw a great trailer. This will be big,
and just in time. The guy who made
"28 Days Later" tries to make it
up to you. "Millions"

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

How To Get HELP Making Your Movie!

http://indycine.com

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

FREE Report - Get A Camera FREE for 30 Days!

http://samlongoria.com/make

Monday, February 14, 2005

Sam Longoria - Valentine's Day - Modern Mirth magazine

Sam Longoria - Valentine's Day - Modern Mirth magazine

This is from the Feb 2005 
Modern Mirth magazine.
Happy Valentine's Day, everybody!



Love & Banging

© 2005 Sam Longoria, Modern Mirth Magazine, Richard Levinson Publisher

Love makes the world go round. No, wait, that's momentum.
The warm clump heats up, after a billion trillion years. Boiling hot, burning hot, and excited! Enough to fly apart, in another Big Bang, so the Universe is formed, again.

Love, and then Banging. Over and over again.

Without Love, there is only Banging. Tedious, mindless, empty Banging. Sign me up.

The power of Love was first noticed when monkeys on the plains first stood erect. Their females looked upon this proud, new erect-ness, and shrieked hot monkey Love, with bright red buttocks and provocative postures, and sharp claws and bared teeth, and fierce screams and total ecstasy. This was short-lived, lasting only until marriage.

The male monkeys were drawn to the female monkeys, who were drawn to other males, the ones with more bananas.

There was gripping and grinding, and cries and promises and longing and yearning and pulling and tugging and banging and urgency now now yes yes, and then... satisfaction.

The male monkeys fell asleep, and then woke up and wanted to do it again, but the female monkeys said no, I have to get up early for work. I have a lot of gathering and grooming to do tomorrow.

Later, the females gave birth to a new universe of monkeys. They grew up, and were drawn together, and now run the Department of Motor Vehicles, and send spam on the internet, and call you at dinner to sell you vinyl siding.

We will never run out of monkeys, because monkeys put into daily practice both Love and Banging.

Banging is easy to find, to hear Women talk. To them, only Love is important. Men think Love is a cinch to find, and Banging is the good stuff.

Where can you can find Banging? In the Yellow Pages, under the heading 'Escorts.' How much does Banging cost? It varies, but you can get something pretty good for about $100. Where can you find Love? In the Dictionary, between "Lost," and "Lust."

What is the best time to look for Love? When there is tenderness, and when there is trust, and believe me, not in the middle of the night when she is asleep, or she will wake up and kill you.


Love & Banging © 2005 Sam Longoria, Modern Mirth Magazine, Richard Levinson Publisher



love

funny
article
banging
february
valentine
movies I love
sam longoria
modern mirth
valentine's day
love and banging
my funny valentine


Friday, February 11, 2005

Thoughts on "The Aviator."

Great filmmaking, too bad it's focused so much on Howard's flaws.
An heroic cinema epic, about a great man of achievement,
would do so well right now.

And that ending...please. The movie goes and goes, three hours, and then it
just...ends. Like somebody forgot to put up the last reel, or money ran out,
or he's heard just one too many complaints it's three hours, so Martin chops
the film off with a hatchet, and says "There - it's done." Too abrupt.

End it with Howard wrestling his Hercules into the air, in triumphant music.
End it with he and Kate (brilliantly played by Cate) finding some resolution.
End it any way but how they did it, and lose that awful Leadbelly credits song.

Leonardo is a wonderful actor, gave a marvelous performance. Really excellent.
Everybody's acting was great, even oily Alan Alda. Sorry, (I'm Libertarian),
but he's perfect as an Ayn Rand-style contemptible pragmatic slimy villain.

I met Terry Moore, Howard Hughes's gorgeous actress widow 20 years ago, still
incredibly sexy. (I was consulting on her picture, for a backer. I got wobbly
knees, as she signed my "Playboy" magazine, and "Come Back, Little Sheba" poster.)
I'd love to hear what she thinks about "The Aviator." Terry, please write.

I think "The Aviator" will win "Best Picture," although I'm rooting
for "Finding Neverland," and liked Brad Bird's "The Incredibles"
much more than anything else. Go Brad!

Minor error - As a 35mm camera goes by, while they're filming "Hell's Angels,"
its magazine takeup belt is looped around both feed and takeup pulleys. It
just grabbed my eye, and I thought "There's gonna be a film jam!" I know,
it only bothered me in all the world. I said it was minor.

Oh, and the camera mag that spills film, spills color negative.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Screenwriting Made Easy

Getting your movie written is a game.
The object of a game is to win.
One way to win is cheat.

Among other unscrupulous tricks you can play
on yourself - Talk the story into a voice
recorder. Play all the different voices and
characters yourself.

Here am I, (and a string quartet), doing exactly that.
That's how I wrote the funeral scene for my western
comedy feature "Surreal West." Not much editing,
This is how it plays in the script, and the movie.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

What does Writing get you?

Everything you want.
This Universe didn't just happen, you know.
Somebody wrote it.

This Universe is what we all agree it is, it changes from instant to instant. You are literally choosing in which one you find yourself, and what you write is powerful in shaping it.
Schroedinger's cat. It's easy.

I first noticed exactly how powerful, when I pulled out an old crate of scripts, and read the tragic ending of a good one I wrote, where the hero's house burns down, and his love runs away, and all the kids are dead. What a happy story.

Never gave it much thought, but in the two years just before I read this old thing, every single tragic thing I wrote in that script, happened to me in "real life." Everything.

It made my hair stand straight up on my head, when I realized that. Because I wrote this script years before all that happened. My life was like the Book of Job for a few years there, and here was the script for all that. I wrote it. And it got made.

Check for yourself. Dig out an old script, and read it. Read an old story, especially one with wistful yearning or longing. Didn't you get exactly what you were asking for in it?

Or look at your old to-do lists. Isn't it amazing how many things you wrote down, actually happened? Some without real effort on your part. Just writing it down set something in motion, apparently.

What did I do, with my new powerful knowledge? I tore out the last 10 pages of that script, and I wrote the happiest damn ending you ever saw.

And that's what's happening now.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

FREE Report - Find Your First Hollywood Job!

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Film Capital of the World - Or wherever you are!
Box 2449, Hollywood CA 90078 323.960.5622

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Monday, February 07, 2005

How to write like Quentin Tarentino

First, have his talent.
Then, go through his life experiences.
Watch the movies he likes, etc.
Unlikely.

Dialogue is like singing, or a flair for language,
you either have an ear for it, or you don't.

Only one way to find out. Write.

Reading about screenplays, writing about screenplays,
talking about screenplays, posting about screenplays.
It is all fun, but only fun.
None of it matters.

Nobody wants to know the real truth about writing, which is...

Write!

I've read them all, my favorite book is still Viki King's
"How to Write A Screenplay In 21 Days." Cost $15, very
few pages, all good, discover it here.


Saturday, February 05, 2005

An Important Note For Writers

WRITE! Every day, for several hours. There is no excuse.

This is the best time in all history to be a writer.
Computers are cheap, standards for managing data and text
are very high, and available almost everywhere.

I am reminded of this because today I am going to a concert
rehearsal, in which my lovely wife plays in the orchestra.
While I listen to her music, I type my movie screenplay on
my little keyboard, into which is plugged my Palm computer.

When I get home, I will HotSync my new scene into my desk computer,
and it's as though I've spent all day in my office, working on my movie,
only with the added benefit of an afternoon of Brahms.

I wrote one of the best, most climactic scenes today,
with inspiration of, and music from a live, full orchestra!
Love it.

So very glad I am, that I have lived this long.
I wish the same blessings on you and your work.

Friday, February 04, 2005

All this scenery, and FREE MONEY too!

Las Cruces, New Mexico USA.



Look at this picture, with the clouds and sky and the incredible mountains away off. Doesn't this spot look like a Western, just waiting to happen? Somebody just told me New Mexico will match your production funds, so if you have $1M, you can spend $2M. That's the quickest million I ever made! I'm going to check on this, let you know what I find out. If you know about New Mexico as a film location, please write and tell me.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

That's Showbiz

Honk if you're horny


Scriptwriting alert - Coming down the stretch.

I've put it off long enough, I've written and re-written this script,
sitting in this chair doing nothing else, since Thanksgiving.
Last night they said it must be DONE. Tomorrow, or we won't have
time to go to the Caribbean and shoot it.

I must change my focus from making the script good to making it done,
and I must do it today. Just noticed another glaring error last night,
too. Did I stay up all night to fix it, like I would have when I was
twenty-or thirty-something, and not very wise? No.

I got a few hours of refreshing sleep, and I'm up and at it now,
except for this minor blog entry, and maybe some email until noon
and... NO!

I must work only on the script today, and FINISH the thing by tonight.
"DONE" is the quality for which I'm striving.
That's it.
Period.
End of story.
No discussion.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Halfway into the next decade.
Well, it's been six years, and I really have to
get better about blogging.

I'll do it more often, really I will.